April 08, 2003

Contest Time

My good buddy Andy's blog has been suffering from a severe case of troll infestation. It seems the good Reverend Mykeru, fresh from being banned from the Straight Dope Message Board, wrote a woe-is-me story that suckered Andy in. In Andy's defense, the story was plausible (whatever his other faults, Mykeru IS a talented writer); when Andy learned the truth, he stood up like a man and apologized to the board. Unfortunately, it was far too late. Mykey glommed onto the WWR like some kind of psychic leech, and the damage was done.

The WWR was virgin ground for a troll such as Mykey. The debates, though sometimes heated, were civil; the commenters respected others opinions while seeking to persuade differently; all in all, a pleasant place to hash out the problems of the world. Andy worked hard to build it as such.

Mykey started off positively, then went off the deep end. His argument style is a mixture of ad hom, death pr0n, and unreliable sources. He constantly threatens to leave, then attacks anyone that reminds him that the door is just waiting to hit him in the ass. He has pissed at length into the soup that is WWR.

Which brings us to...

The Contest!

I've added a script that converts comments into Mad Libs. It can be found here. Click through on the link, follow the directions, copy and paste the results, and e-mail your best effort to dork-at-roverpundit.com. There are a total of three; to get different comments just refresh your browser. Do as many, or
as few as you'd like. Be nasty, clean, whatever. I have no interest in keeping this site family friendly. The goal is to mock Mykeru as much as possible; causing me to shoot beer through my nose is just a bonus.

The original comments can be found at The World Wide Rant.

The entries will be judged by whoever I feel like asking, and the best entry will receive a RoverPundit t-shirt. Other prizes may be awarded. This contest is for my amusement, and I reserve the right to end it at any time.

Good luck, and spread the news. This should be fun.

(PS) Unlike Andy, who runs his site to encourage open debate between commenters, I run my site to amuse myself. Trolls will be banned, returning trolls will be reported to their ISP, and those who persist after all that face the possibility of legal action. This is my kingdom, I rule with an iron fist.

(PPS) If you have any comment gems you'd like to run through the wringer, send 'em in to me. I'll hack 'em up and post 'em for all to enjoy.

Posted by Dork at April 8, 2003 12:57 PM | TrackBack

You know what the idiot is? To tunnel someone a fungus for implying that because I did not bury the muff of Iraq with the bearded lady of Australia from the Nazis, that then, therefore, I would be pussy-whipped in the Holocaust.

Or the malodorous sidewinder of the argument made: "If you don't slide with me it's because you are a "Jew-town drunk".

I don't mangle . Maybe I am just waaay perverted , but that sounds like a pretty fucking suckling dim lightbulb to me. It sounded like the poindexter itself had no " stunted value".

But Dale , only able to gestate the tone of joy buzzer in a rather pug-faced manner, thinks I'm waaay degenerate for getting annoyed.

You can just sublimate off, really.

aborted by Reverend Mykeru at March 26, 2003 09:36 AM

Posted by: Kelly on April 8, 2003 06:59 PM

WTF? Did he use your app or was that off the cuff?

Posted by: Matt on April 8, 2003 08:18 PM

I'm pretty sure she used my app.


Posted by: Matt on April 8, 2003 09:17 PM

Franky the Gimp, you stupified toenail. Simply regretting the left turn signal of what you say is not posturing aliens in your ear lobe. Your God-fearing Christian is that you, like our dear lesbian homeopathy quack, want the right to tow telephone without being licked about it.

Posted by: andy on April 9, 2003 07:18 AM

I used the mad libs app. Fun stuff, you should try it. :-)

Posted by: Kelly on April 9, 2003 11:21 AM

I particularly like the "You can just sublimate off, really."

Posted by: Kelly on April 9, 2003 11:22 AM

Here's another one. Stick this in your pipe and smoke it. :-)

"Mickey Mouse, you horny toe. Simply stroking the stoichiometry of what you say is not doping after-dinner mints in your spleen. Your horse's ass is that you, like our dear bloated bus driver, want the right to lick mule without being jacked about it."

Posted by: Kelly on April 9, 2003 09:20 PM

mostly-narrative poem: this charming, airfare edgy, insistently intertextual and credit card finally heartbreaking sequence about ski vacation unlikely courtship, modern marriage, car rental divorce and "primordial eros and strife." dating The 29 short chapters Carson calls plane ticket "Tangos" imagine and analyze, in jaggedly hotel memorable verse, the ill-starred romance vacation package

Posted by: airfare on February 12, 2004 04:26 PM
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